Do you ever say something so many times that it begins to feel true? Like when you co-opt someone else's story for simplicity's sake only to realize one day that you actually thought it was your own? That's a bit how I feel with this trip. I've talked about it so much, said the same spiel over and over to so many different people, that I actually began to believe my own elevator pitch.
"It'll be great. I know it'll be hard at times but that's part of the journey!"
These are things I have actually said, the whole time envisioning myself as some cool, nomadic designer living out a dream. Now it feels like those things came from a robot. Because sometimes... it's not great. And I can assure you it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Will it be part of the journey... sure. But what isn't part of a journey? I could've stayed in Boston and that would've been part of my journey too. I find myself waking up every morning this past week thinking:
"What have I done? Why am I here?"
I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss stability. I miss my bed. But then I remember that this actually is a part of it. I guess it's about re-framing my perspective. What is this going to push me to do?
An urban hike of downtown Nashville tomorrow night with a bunch of strangers? Yup.
Googling CrossFit gyms? You betcha.
Going to a lot of restaurants alone? Sure. (this one is pretty fun)
But the point is, it's all pretty fun in the end. Once I push myself to get out there I usually don't regret it. At least not yet. Stay tuned for the CrossFit experience...
I don't want to romanticize it or cloak it in "life lessons." This is hard. But in a lot of ways, this first 2 month stint is teaching me what to expect when I land in a new city. So there is my new perspective. I want to leave here with a "how to cope" toolkit for the rest of the trip. And possibly some cowboy boots.