Goodbye, Nashville

It's been three months since I landed in Nashville. Confused, anxious, and very sweaty, I never imagined I'd be so sad to go. 

The first few weeks were rough. I wanted to leave so badly. I thought I had made a huge mistake with this trip. That trying to "settle" in a place for only 2 months was a ludicrous idea. I had very little work to do, very few contacts, and very little confidence that I had made the right decision. Anxiety... now that I had in spades. I spent a lot of time making excuses for why I didn't like the city, turns out that's a thing I do when I get to a new place (I'll save that for another post.)  

But I didn't leave. And thank god. I sat in it. All the horrible feelings of regret, loneliness, loss, confusion. I just sat in it. I had no other choice. I spent a lot of time on the couch; sleeping, worrying, waiting for something to change.

Until all of a sudden... I wasn't anymore. The work started coming in, I started pushing myself to engage with Nashville in a way I refused to before. This was hugely in part to the people I had there. Turns out they were there all along. 

To Emma and Sean, 
My temporary roommates, who are two of the most generous, kind, loving human beings I have ever met. Who fed me continuously and helped me as I fumbled through this new beginning. I am better for having lived with them these last three months.

To Billie the Dog,
My constant companion on the couch. This dog has spunk, ya'll. She will forever have a special place in my heart. 

To Kym,
She took me under her wing and introduced me to the largest, most welcoming group of people I have ever met. Almost every social interaction I had in Nashville was due to this circle of delightful humans. They made the last 3 months even more rich and meaningful. 

Leaving Nashville was hard. Leaving these people was hard. But as Emma said to me at our last breakfast together:

"You can always come back."


So Nashville, here is my love letter to you.