Sometimes, it's nice for something to be exactly what you thought it would be. I knew I would have fun in L.A. I knew it would be an "easy" place to live because I already knew people there. Heck, I had already visited multiple times! I had spent many nights in the apartment I would now call home for the next two months. I knew I would clear my normal hurdles seamlessly. After a long trip from Austin, driving into LA almost felt like going home. It came at the perfect time in the arc of this trip. I was tired of being on the road and ready to have a semblance of stability.
How do you uproot your life more than quitting your job and living in different cities for 2 months at a time? You live in four different places within that city for two months! Sounds terrible, right? Yeah well, I made a lot of mistakes in Austin.
It's been three months since I landed in Nashville. Confused, anxious, and very sweaty, I never imagined I'd be so sad to go.
The first few weeks were rough. I wanted to leave so badly. I thought I had made a huge mistake with this trip. That trying to "settle" in a place for only 2 months was a ludicrous idea. I had very little work to do, very few contacts, and very little confidence that I had made the right decision. Anxiety... now that I had in spades. I spent a lot of time making excuses for why I didn't like the city, turns out that's a thing I do when I get to a new place (I'll save that for another post.)
As I left Nashville I was thinking a lot about what's changed for me over the past few months; how I've grown, in what ways I feel different. Some days it smacks me in the face (like when I get in the car on my way to Detroit barely knowing the plan.) Sometimes it shows itself more subtly (like when I no longer feel a sense of dread when I enter a social situation.)
Do you ever think about packing for vacation and feel like you need to buy a whole new wardrobe to fulfill your destiny as "Los Angeles You" or "Denmark You" or " [Insert magical place] You"?
I do this every time I think about packing for anywhere. Even if it's a weekend trip somewhere I've been a million times. I think about the people I'll be with and what they dress like. I think about the events I'm going to and stress about the varying levels of casualness I may need to pull off at any moment. (I think very little about the weather.)